|Happy Easter In Heaven
My Sweet Harley,
Happy Easter in Heaven. It has been awhile
since I have written you, I had to take a break from writing for awhile as it is so very painful to write to you knowing I can't see you, hug you, kiss you and see your beautiful smile till it is my time to leave this world.
It is so hard dealing with Life everyday, some days I feel like I am losing my mind, I have to put on a fake face and all the while I am grieving for you.
No parent will ever get over losing their child, we just have to go on day to day, for me one day just runs into another and another, time is moving by quickly.
I look forward to Sunday as that is the day I always visit you, I will always visit you on Sunday no matter what, of course their were a few Sunday's it was storming pretty bad I had to miss going.
Always know that you are Always In My Thoughts and Forever In My Heart.
Sometimes I am so exhausted from working that I don't always light candles for you, but you are always with me.
I hope that you have met a lot of Friends up there in Heaven I know how much you loved your Friends and they loved you and miss you so very much.
I want you to look out for Drew as he is going in for surgery for a colostomy, so many lives have changed as the result of this accident and no one's Life will ever be as they knew it.
Please also look out for Johnny and Nicole, Johnny was on a self- destructive path for awhile not caring if he lived, he was trying to take the pain of losing you and seeing drew in the wheelchair away, there is nothing to take the pain away, we all have to learn to live everyday with this pain.I know that if any of you boys knew that this would have happened, you all would have stayed put.
Nicole is in her own little world and I am worried about her, the hardest job in the world is being a parent.
I have to start working on your site again, the screen gets all wide and I don't like it that way. Remember what you said one time: We must be the only family that does not have a computer, well all this stuff is new to me and I am learning how to use this on my own, well I do get some help now and again.
The reason I never bought a computer before was because I was afraid you kids(esp. you and Johnny) looking at all the porn and I heard so much danger about chat rooms.
I wanted to protect you as much as I could from dangerous things, I wish to God that the motor in Sheila's car would have thrown a rod thru the motor that night and at least you all would have just been broke down.
I will never understand why God has to take our children and put everybody thru so much pain.
Until next time My Sweet Harley....
You are always with me Son, you are My Flesh and Blood and I carry you with me Forever.