My Sweet Harley, Twenty three years ago today I gave Birth to you, a beautiful 8 pound, 8 ounce baby boy, I was ecstatic, I was finally a Mother. Dan and I got up at 5:30 this morning to go visit you. I wanted to be there before the sun came up as it is so beautiful early in the morning. It was freezing cold and my toes were so numb and cold they were hurting, I let Dan drive home and I put my feet up against the car heater. I could never live up north with all the freezing weather and snow, I do wish that when you kids were little that I could have taken you up North during Christmas time so you could all have played in the snow. When you're a kid the snow is fun to play in, but I sure would not want to have to get out and drive to work in it.
I bought 23 balloons and 23 beautiful red roses to put on your gravesite, I did not want to release the balloons as they looked so beautiful all bunched up together, and I did not put the roses in a vase, they looked just beautiful in a layered bouquet. As long as I live I will put the number of roses matching your age every Birthday that you have.
I thought something was wrong with me as it took so long for me to get pregnant with you, I was 1 day late and I was regular every 28 days for 10 years, I knew just being 1 day late that I was finally going to be a Mother, I was the happiest woman in the world. I remember every detail about my pregnancy with you and every detail the night I went into labor with you.
Sweet Harley, the pain and heartache of losing you is like no other pain. *The worse loss in life is the loss of a child* We as parent's never expect to have to bury our child. I have met so many wonderful Angel Parent's that have helped me because they know how I feel and what I am going through, I can relate to them and them to me.
Johnny will always have a hole in his heart that will never be mended and I wish I could take the pain from his heart and soul and put it on my shoulder's. You and Johnny were so close, always there for one another, we are all with hurting and a part of all of us has died.
Johnny and Fro also went to see you today, Erica and a friend showed up later on. Johnny thought Drew was working today, but he wasn't so I think Johnny and Drew will visit you tomorrow.
Drew and Shelia are no longer together, it did not work out for them, Drew is also going through very rough times, but he is working at Pep Boys and that is good for him as he would just be so depressed just sitting around all day. His life has drastically changed and although I can not say how he feels, I can imagine what life must be like for a young man of 21 to have to be confined to a wheelchair. This is a very sad and devastating situation for everybody involved, life is so very cruel.
I hope that you have had a Great Birthday Party up there with all of your new Angel Friends, Bobbo, Nick G, Nick F, Eric B, Eric R,Craig, Gemma, Katie and also the girl from your graduating class named Tiffany. To many young people to list, it is sad and heartbreaking, complete devastation,Mother's and Father's, brothers and sister's lives will never be as they knew it. Hope Bobbo grilled you some ribs and I know how you love to bake cakes, so I know you had a Birthday cake. I am so heartbroken that you are not here with us to celebrate your Birthday, but know this My Sweet Harley:
YOU ARE ALWAYS IN MY THOUGHTS AND FOREVER IN MY HEART, YOU ARE A PART OF ME, YOU ARE MY FLESH AND BLOOD AND EVEN THOUGH YOU ARE NOT HERE IN BODY, YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH ME. YOU ARE MY SON AND I AM YOUR MOTHER AND THE LOVE AND BOND BETWEEN A MOTHER AND HER CHILD CAN NEVER BE TAKEN AWAY OR FORGOTTEN!!!!
Please watch over Johnny, he needs your guidance, keep Nicole safe, she misses and loves her Bubby.
My Sweet Harley, I Love You -N- Miss You So Very Much.
Love Momma, Dan, Johnny & Nicole xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Happy Birthday in Heaven Harley. You are such a handsome young man. Please watch over your family and let them feel your love. They all need you very much. It is so hard to be here without our Angels. Your Mom is a very special lady. I pray every night that peace can fill her and Johnny's heart. I know your brother misses you too and that you were best friends. I pray you can guide him to make the right decisions. More than once, I have seen a downhill chain reaction happen when we lose our loved one. We all need to find a way to break that chain. I'm sure you wouldn't want to see your family suffering so much without you. It is hard not too. I feel like I know all of you from talking to your loving Mother. God Bless