My Sweet Harley, Today was a pretty rough day, but then, everyday is rough living without you, never getting to hug you, never getting to kiss you, never getting to see your beautiful smile, never seeing you someday get married & having your own children, all these things I will never get to do and see, the pain is unbearable. This pain is hard to live with, I realize that I could have lost both of my son's that night, but why did I have to lose any? I just can't believe that this was God's plan, you are loved by all who knew you, you were a true friend, a good, kind young man, I will never understand any of this!! You are always on my mind, so many beautiful memories of our lives together. Memories of certain ages and the things that you said and did are always on my mind. Days just run into each other, nothing seems to have any meaning anymore, I am just surving in this hell that we call Life!! Until next time..... my sweet Harley I love you and miss you!!!!!!!!!!!!! Look out for everyone that loves you, Drew is having a rough time, look out for him & Johnny!!!! Love, Momma xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Sorry for you loss / Vicky Green (Passer by ) I really understand your pain because I lost my brother last year too. He was only 24. I liked reading your poems, although they made me cry. I know you are in the same amount of hurt and pain as my own mother. I wish I could wake up and this be a dream. Harley and my brother Nicholas, were so young and beautiful and are deeply missed. My brother's site is http://nicholas-green.memory-of.com/about.aspx, we miss our angels..
Memories of Graduation / Beverly (Mother)
My Sweet Harley, Tonight at Middleburg High and schools all over, the seniors will be graduating, they will be leaving their carefree, young days as schoolchildren and entering the world as young adults, just as you did. June 1st, 2001 was the night I watched you grow from a baby to a toddler, to a schoolboy, to a young man about to enter this hard, cruel world that we call life. As we watched all the kids walking the line and we heard your name called, chills ran down my spine & tears of joy & happiness were on my face. My 1st born son was graduating from High School and I was so very proud of you,one chapter of your life was closing, another chapter of your life was opening, I wish I could have kept you that way forever, because as selfish as it is to feel that way, at least I might have had some control over your life & maybe you would still be here with us today. Harley, I miss you so much I can't stand it. I try to have faith, but I don't. I ask God why he had to take you, and knowing I will never get an answer. Somedays I feel like I have gone crazy. Life is very difficult & I am empty inside because you are not here, my life is upside down & inside out, my emotions are like a roller coaster. I am angry, I am hurt, I am all different kinds of feeling. Everytime I hear of a child passing away I pray for the family as I know the pain & heartache that they will have to endure. Believe me Harley, there is no pain that will ever compare to losing one's child, their are no words that can describe the pain, only those that have experienced it, know it. Their is a special bond between a Mother and her child, their is no love like a Mother's love. I will always wish that I could have gone in your place, a Mother should not have to bury her child first. I think any Mother feels that way. Our children are precious gifts from God, I just wish I could understand why God has to take our children first, but I will never understand "WHY." I have come to feel that as each day that passes brings me closer to seeing your beautiful smile. Until next time My Precious Harley........I Love You And Miss You So Much!!! You Are Always In My Heart & Thoughts!!!! Love, Momma xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Still His Mother / Beverly (Harley's Mother )
Still His Mother
I am the Mother...that doesn't know how to act. I am the Mother...that can't accept the fact.
I am the Mother...that feels the crushing pain. I am the Mother..that sometimes feels insane.
I am the Mother...that feels lost and alone. I am the Mother...that sometimes screams and moans.
I am the Mother...that is sad and sigh. I am the Mother...that watches time go by.
I am the Mother...that paces the home. I am the Mother...that have thoughts that roam.
I am the Mother...that remembers his hugs and kisses. I am the Mother...that her child she misses.
I am the Mother...that has cried and cried. I am the Mother...of a child that's died. I AM STILL HIS MOTHER
Want you here / Beverly (Mother)
My Sweet Harley, It is 15 months and 1 week since you were taken from us, that was the night my whole world was shattered & turned upside down & forever changed my life, and the lives of people that love you. I will never understand why this had to happen. The pain of losing you does not get any easier, it just gets harder. I always ask God why this had to happen? He could have had me. It is difficult to have faith anymore. People will sometimes say...that you are in a better place, but what better place could you be in than here? Surrounded by family and friends that love you. You are always on my mind, it is very depressing living here without you, I think about what might have been and I feel cheated and robbed that I will never get to see you enjoy your life. Until next time my precious son.... I Love You and Miss You. Love, Momma xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Missing you always / Beverly (Mother)
My Precious Harley, Today is Mother's Day & I should be getting 3 Mother's Day cards from my children, but I am only getting 2. Oh Harley, it took me so long to get pregnant with you, I couldn't wait to have you, I always ask God "Why" he took you away, am I being punished for something I did? God already knows what kind of childhood I had, neither parent really worried about their children, just caring about themselves & the children that they had just got in their way. I never, ever felt that way, it was a joy & a blessing that I had you children, you are all the most important part of my life, I will never understand why this happened. That is why I can not understand why my own Mother gave up 8 children for a man, children are precious gifts from God. I went to see you today & just sat & talked & cried, life is very difficult, some days I just want to give up. I miss you more & more, you are in my heart & soul, I can't wait to see you again, till next time....... I Love You & Miss You Harley Love, Momma xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Why?/ Beverly (Mother)
My Precious Harley, Till the day I die I will never believe that it was "your time to go." I just don't have any faith right now, because I just don't understand why God had to take you & I never will understand. Why does he take the good people when their are so many evil in this world? Why does he make the parents & the sibilings suffer, and all the friends that love you? I want to hug you, hold you & kiss you & see your beautiful smile and if you were spending the weekend at a friend's house I could do all these things when you got home, but this is final and it's pure hell and heartbreaking living without you. Time does not make this any easier, it makes it harder!!! Until next time my precious Harley......... I love you & miss you more & more each day!!!! Love, Momma xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Life is so very hard!! / Beverly (Mother)
My Precious Harley, We love you and miss you so much, I took you out some beautiful red roses today & also the little rose bush I planted is doing good. I miss you so much I can't stand it. You are always in my heart & thoughts, I keep asking God "why Harley, you could have taken me." My mind is filled with so many memories of our lives together, this pain & hurt is not like losing a parent or your spouse so I don't need people telling me "you have to get on with your life! What life? This is not the life I had planned!! One stupid boy has to do something stupid & wreckless as grabbing the steering wheel and causes one boy to be paralized and one boy to die. What makes me angry is this accident could have been prevented, plus do you think that boy could at least offer his sympathy (not that it will help). No, he hasn't. Only a parent that has lost a child can possibly know how I feel. I get so angry. You are always in my thoughts & you are in my heart forever, but all I have left of you that I can touch are pictures, the memories of our lives together help me get through the day. I will always wish that God would have taken me instead of you, but each day that comes & goes brings me closer to you. I have accomplished what I set out to do in my lifetime. I have 3 beautiful children that I am so very proud of!!!!! Harley,I am so very proud of the man you turned out to be, you are a gentle giant of a man with a Big Heart!!!!! Untill next time my precious son.......... I love you & miss you with all my heart & soul!!!!!! Love, Momma xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
are left behind, then, in an instant, the rain is gone
He left his legacy behind, the seed for us to grow.
he tried to heal and comfort the broken hearted.
His strength lie in his knowledge that he made
a difference in the lives of others before he made
his final journey home.
When the pain comes to us for not having him near,
listen close to the movement of the wind.
The gentle breeze that filters through the trees,
carries his voice gently, like a Whisper in The Wind.
Telling those he loves, "do not worry, I am without
pain, and I am home.
Missing You!!! / Beverly (Mother)
My Sweet Harley, Went to see you today & also cleaned up the grounds a bit, some of the cards have been there 8-12 months & they have mildew & all wet & faded, I hated to take them away but you could not even see them. Harley, life is so very hard without you, I feel like I am waiting for you to come home. Why did God have to take you? I try to have faith but it is pretty hard. It is hard to accept that I can't hold you, kiss you, tell you I love you. I feel like I am in some kind of nightmare & that I will wake up & everything will be normal. Nothing has been normal since you died & nothing ever will be normal again in my life. I pray for all of the parents that have lost a child. Death is not easy for anyone to deal with, but the death of a child is just hell!!! It's not like grieving for the death of a parent or a spouse, parents get old & pass on, women that lose a spouse can remarry, but we can never replace our child that passed away. The pain of holding the lifeless body of the child you give birth to is just unbearable, & devastating. Life can never be the same as we knew it. You know I haven't carried a purse for years & use a man's wallet, well I use your wallet that Johnny bought you for your birthday & I have your key chain on my key chain. I still have everything in your wallet that you had in there except "the protection." I even still have the two $10.00 bills that you got from me before you all left, I can not spend them. That might sound silly, but that is how I feel. I think about what you are doing up there & I know that you are looking out for everyone that loves you. I know that you love & miss us as much as we love & miss you!!!! Harley, know that you are always in my Heart & Soul!!! You Are With Me Every Moment Of Every Day!!!! Until Next Time My Precious Son........ I Love You & Miss You More & More Each Day.... xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo